Before crosses used to frighten me--I used to get goose bumps at the thought of suffering--but now I embrace suffering even before it actually comes, and like this Jesus and I live in love.

Do not think that my spiritual life is strewn with roses--that is the flower which I hardly ever find on my way. Quite the contrary, I have more often as my companion "darkness." And when the night becomes very thick--and it seems to me as if I will end up in hell--then I simply offer myself to Jesus. If He wants me to go there--I am ready--but only under the condition that it really makes Him happy.

I need much grace, much of Christ's strength to persevere in trust, in that blind love which leads only to Jesus Crucified. But I am happy--yes happier than ever. And I would not wish at any price to give up my sufferings.

But do not, however, think that I am only suffering. Ah no--I am laughing more than I am suffering--so that some have concluded that I am Jesus' spoiled bride, who lives with Jesus in Nazareth--far away from Calvary. ...Pray, pray for me--I really need His love.

(Blessed Mother Teresa, The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta")