Ei mihi! Dómine, miserére mei! Ei mihi! Ecce vúlnera mea non abscóndo: médicus es, æger sum; miséricors es, miser sum.
Numquid non tentátio est vita humána super terram? Quis velit moléstias et difficultátes? Tolerári iubes eas, non amári. Nemo quod tólerat amat, etsi toleráre amat. Quamvis enim gáudeat se toleráre, mavult tamen non esse quod tóleret. Próspera in advérsis desídero, advérsa in prósperis tímeo. Quis inter hæc médius locus, ubi non sit humána vita tentátio? Væ prosperitátibus sæculi semel et íterum a timóre adversitátis et a corruptióne lætítiæ! Væ adversitátibus sæculi semel et íterum et tértio a desidério prosperitátis et quia ipsa advérsitas dura est, et ne frangat tolerántiam! Numquid non tentátio est vita humána super terram sine ullo interstítio?
Et tota spes mea non nisi in magna valde misericórdia tua.
This is agony, Lord, have pity on me! It is agony! See, I do not hide my wounds; you are the physician and I am sick; you are merciful, I in need of mercy.
Is not human life on earth a time of testing? Who would choose troubles and hardships? You command us to endure them, but not to love them. No-one loves what he has to endure, even if he loves the endurance, for although he may rejoice in his power to endure, he would prefer to have nothing that demands endurance. In adverse circumstances I long for prosperity, and in times of prosperity I dread adversity. What middle ground is there, between these two, where human life might be free from trial? Woe betide worldly prosperity, and woe again, from fear of disaster and evanescent joy! But woe, woe, and woe again upon worldly adversity, from envy of better fortune, the hardship of adversity itself, and the fear that endurance may falter. Is not human life on earth a time of testing without respite?
On your exceedingly great mercy, and on that alone, rests all my hope.
(St Augustine, Confessions, Book 10)
Topics: God's mercy, interior struggle, trial, tribulation