From The Confessions of St Augustine
All my hope lies in your great mercy
Where did I find you in order to make your acquaintance in the first place? You could not have been in my memory before I learned to know you. Where then could I have found you in order to learn of you, if not in yourself, far above me? “Place” has here no meaning: further away from you or toward you we may travel, but place there is none. O Truth, you hold sovereign sway over all who turn to you for counsel, and to all of them you respond at the same time, however diverse their pleas.
Clear is your response, but not all hear it clearly. They all appeal to you about what they want, but do not always hear what they want to hear. Your best servant is the one who is less intent on hearing from you what accords with his own will, and more on embracing with his will what he has heard from you.
Late have I loved you, Beauty so ancient and so new, late have I loved you!
Lo, you were within,
but I outside, seeking there for you,
and upon the shapely things you have made
I rushed headlong – I, misshapen.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
They held me back far from you,
those things which would have no being,
were they not in you.
You called, shouted, broke through my deafness;
you flared, blazed, banished my blindness;
you lavished your fragrance, I gasped; and now I pant for you;
I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst;
you touched me, and I burned for your peace.
When at last I cling to you with my whole being there will be no more anguish or labour for me, and my life will be alive indeed, alive because filled with you. But now it is very different. Anyone whom you fill you also uplift; but I am not full of you, and so I am a burden to myself. Joys over which I ought to weep do battle with sorrows that should be matter for joy, and I do not know which will be victorious. But I also see griefs that are evil at war in me with joys that are good, and I do not know which will win the day. This is agony, Lord, have pity on me! It is agony! See, I do not hide my wounds; you are the physician and I am sick; you are merciful, I in need of mercy.
Is not human life on earth a time of testing? Who would choose troubles and hardships? You command us to endure them, but not to love them. No-one loves what he has to endure, even if he loves the endurance, for although he may rejoice in his power to endure, he would prefer to have nothing that demands endurance. In adverse circumstances I long for prosperity, and in times of prosperity I dread adversity. What middle ground is there, between these two, where human life might be free from trial? Woe betide worldly prosperity, and woe again, from fear of disaster and evanescent joy! But woe, woe, and woe again upon worldly adversity, from envy of better fortune, the hardship of adversity itself, and the fear that endurance may falter. Is not human life on earth a time of testing without respite?
On your exceedingly great mercy, and on that alone, rests all my hope.
聖思定懺悔錄 我的全部希望在於祢的大慈大 悲
我在哪裏找到了祢，而認識了 祢呢？因為在我認識祢之前， 我的記憶裏還沒有祢。除非在 祢內並超乎我，我還能在何處 找到祢，而認識祢呢？沒有一 處地方，我們接近祢或遠離祢 並不涉及任何地方。祢是真 理，無所不在，祢到處答覆詢 問祢的人們，並同時答覆所有 詢問不同問題的人。
祢的答覆是清晰的，然而並非 所有的人都聽得清楚。罪人都 詢問他們所願問的，却不會常 常聆聽他們所願意聽的答覆。 祢最好的僕人是這樣的，他不 大關心他所願意從祢那裏聽到 的話，而更關心祢願意他從祢 那裏聆聽的話。
我愛祢太晚了！祢這萬古常新 的美，我愛祢太晚了！請看， 祢曾在我內，而我却在外邊， 並在外邊尋找祢。醜陋的我投 身在祢所造的這些美物中。祢 曾和我在一起，我却沒有和祢 在一起。那些受造物使我遠離 祢，如果它們不在祢內，就絕 不會存在。你呼喚過我，也高 喊過並開啟我的耳聾。祢曾放 出光芒，照耀過我，驅除了我 的眼瞎。祢曾散發芬芳，我聞 到了，我現在渴望祢。我嘗到 了祢，現在我愛祢如飢似渴。 祢觸摸了我，我切望祢的和平 而心熱如焚。
當我整個與祢結合之後，我再 沒有痛苦和疲勞；我的生命將 富有活力，完全充滿了祢。現 在，因為祢充滿一個人時，祢 也減輕他的負擔；而我因為還 沒有充滿祢，我是我自己的一 個重擔。我所應哭泣的今世之 喜樂與我所應慶幸的今世之憂 傷互相衝突，我不知道勝利屬 於哪一方。
主啊，我是有禍的，可憐我 吧！我那些不對的憂傷，與我 那正當的喜樂互相衝突，我不 知道勝利屬於哪一方。主啊！ 我是有禍的，可憐我吧！我是 有禍的！請看，我不想掩飾我 的創傷；祢是醫生，我是病 人；祢是仁慈的，我是可憐 蟲！
難道「人生在世，不是一項考 驗嗎？」誰願意有煩惱和困難 呢？祢命令我們忍受，而不是 愛它們。誰也不會去愛那他所 忍受的──即使他可能愛這忍受 的行為本身。因為即使有人喜 歡忍受，他也寧願沒有什麼要 忍受的。在逆境中，我渴望順 境；在順境中，我畏懼逆境。 在這兩極端之間，是否有一中 間地帶，人生在哪裏不是一項 考驗呢？世俗的順境中難免一 而再地發生災禍：對逆境的畏 懼，歡樂的消失；世俗的逆境 也是一而再、再而三的災禍： 對順境的渴望，逆境本身的難 以忍受，並害怕痛苦會使之滅 頂。難道「人生在世，不是一 項不斷的考驗嗎？」
我的全部希望只在於祢的大慈 大悲。
Ex Confessiónum libris sancti Augustíni epíscopi
Tota spes mea in magna misericordia tua posita est
Ubi te invéni ut díscerem te? Neque enim iam eras in memória mea, priúsquam te díscerem. Ubi ergo te invéni, ut díscerem te, nisi in te supra me? Et nusquam locus, et recédimus et accédimus, et nusquam locus. Véritas, ubíque prǽsides ómnibus consuléntibus te simúlque respóndes ómnibus étiam divérsa consuléntibus.
Líquide tu respóndes, sed non líquide omnes áudiunt. Omnes unde volunt cónsulunt, sed non semper quod volunt áudiunt. Optimus miníster tuus est, qui non magis intuétur hoc a te audíre quod ipse volúerit, sed pótius hoc velle quod a te audíerit.
Sero te amávi, pulchritúdo tam antíqua et tam nova, sero te amávi! Et ecce intus eras et ego foris et ibi te quærébam et in ista formósa quæ fecísti, defórmis irruébam. Mecum eras, et tecum non eram. Ea me tenébant longe a te, quæ si in te non essent, non essent. Vocásti et clamásti et rupísti surditátem meam, coruscásti, splenduísti et fugásti cæcitátem meam, flagrásti, et duxi spíritum et anhélo tibi, gustávi et esúrio et sítio tetigísti me, et exársi in pacem tuam.
Cum inhǽsero tibi ex omni me, nusquam erit mihi dolor et labor, et viva erit vita mea tota plena te. Nunc autem quóniam quem tu imples, súblevas eum, quóniam tui plenus non sum, óneri mihi sum. Conténdunt lætítiæ meæ flendæ cum lætándis mæróribus, et ex qua parte stet victória néscio. Conténdunt mæróres mei mali cum gáudiis bonis, et ex qua parte stet victória néscio. Ei mihi! Dómine, miserére mei! Ei mihi! Ecce vúlnera mea non abscóndo: médicus es, æger sum; miséricors es, miser sum.
Numquid non tentátio est vita humána super terram? Quis velit moléstias et difficultátes? Tolerári iubes eas, non amári. Nemo quod tólerat amat, etsi toleráre amat. Quamvis enim gáudeat se toleráre, mavult tamen non esse quod tóleret. Próspera in advérsis desídero, advérsa in prósperis tímeo. Quis inter hæc médius locus, ubi non sit humána vita tentátio? Væ prosperitátibus sǽculi semel et íterum a timóre adversitátis et a corruptióne lætítiæ! Væ adversitátibus sǽculi semel et íterum et tértio a desidério prosperitátis et quia ipsa advérsitas dura est, et ne frangat tolerántiam! Numquid non tentátio est vita humána super terram sine ullo interstítio?
Et tota spes mea non nisi in magna valde misericórdia tua.
Late have I loved you
